May 9, 2007

The Rotary Ball, as we all know, is one of the social highlights of the season -- an opportunity for our club members and their guests to gather for an evening of fun and frolic. Food, dancing, fellowship and a chance to become better acquainted with our members are highlights of the evening.

Let us not forget, however, that the fund-raising side of the evening is important, for it is that aspect of the Ball that gives our Foundation the ability to support the many charities that we endorse.

The ball, this year scheduled for Saturday, October 13, will be a bit different, thanks to the innovative thinking of Chairman Michelle Hauser. As you are aware, the big item on the agenda this year will be the drawing for a shiny new Corvette. The winner has the option of taking a $40,000 payoff. There will be other prizes as well. Only 800 tickets are being sold, at $100 each, and so far the sales are going well.

Here is another big departure from the past. There will be no Silent Auction of items this year. There will, however, be a Chinese Auction of several items. This is the format in which party-goers purchase tickets and deposit them in bags next to the items they wish to win. Winning tickets are selected from the bags as a highlight of the evening. You can put tickets in every bag, if you wish, or you can concentrate your tickets in one or two bags to increase your odds of winning. It is a lot of fun -- and there are a lot of winners!

There will be two divisions -- inexpensive tickets and higher-priced tickets, depending on the auction items. Everyone can play and everyone can win.

Now, here is an idea I came up with for one of the Chinese Auction items. It has been endorsed by the board, and you will be hearing more about it at future Monday meetings.

I attend a lot of fund-raisers. And I have noticed that the auction items that attract the greatest interest are baskets of wine. At the recent Andrews School dance, I saw more vigorous bidding on the wine -- 12 or 18 bottles in a collection -- that I did on any other item being offered.

So here is my plan. It is to offer at the Chinese auction a "Mountain of Wine," to be won by the winning ticket holder who puts his ticket or tickets in the "Wine Bag." I think 99 bottles of wine would be a great prize for anyone to win, and I know it would draw a lot of interest at the Ball.

So we are asking every member of the Rotary Club to bring ONE BOTTLE OF WINE to be included in the auction item -- the "Mountain of Wine." This is not very demanding upon any member. You can buy a decent bottle of wine for $10 or $12. You don't have to break the bank to participate in this auction item. You might even have a bottle of wine in your wine cellar that you can contribute.

So that the wine bottles will not be dribbling in all summer, we propose that our meeting on Monday, September 10, be designated as "Wine Monday." On that day, every Willoughby Rotarian is being asked to bring a bottle of wine to the meeting for the auction. You will notice there is a little cushion between Sept. 10 and the Ball so that those who forget to bring in their wine on Sept. 10, or those who miss the meeting that day, will have a couple of other opportunities to participate.

You will be reminded of this on several occasions, I am sure.

Now, here is another twist on the auction -- a similar auction item. You have all heard the college song "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall." Well, we also want to auction off, as a single package, 99 bottles of beer from all over the world. So all of our members are also being asked to bring in one bottle of beer on September 10. "International Beer for Rotary International!" A couple of great auction items! Everyone in the club can participate, and the cost to each of us is minimal. The power of the "Tower of Wine" (and Beer) lies in the cumulative effort of all of the Rotarians to take part.

I hope you like the idea. I think it will make us some money.

As always, thanks for your help, your interest and your participation.

The word for today is "puzzomous." It means disgustingly obsequious.

Your faithful scribe,

JKC

April 18, 2007

What's your favorite number?

If you don't have one, make one up -- but keep it under 800.

Then tell it to Michelle Hauser, give her $100, and she will give you a raffle ticket with your favorite number on it -- that's if it isn't sold yet.

You know, of course, what the grand prize in the raffle will be, don't you. It's a brand-new Corvette convertible.

It will be awarded at the Charity Ball, Saturday, October 13 at Kirtland Country Club.

If you don't have a ticket, you obviously cannot win the car. If you have two tickets, your chances of winning are twice as good.

If you have no use for a new Corvette convertible, and there are people who are in that state of mind, you can take a cash payoff of $40,000 -- not bad for a $100 investment.

It would be great if every member of the Rotary Club would buy a ticket. I am certain that you have friends who would be interested in taking a chance on winning such a gorgeous prize.

So don't put off making the decision to buy a chance on the car. If too many people wait until the last minute, planning becomes difficult.

Monday would be a good day to tell Michelle your favorite number, hand her the $100 necessary to seal the deal and spend the rest of the summer dreaming about that new car.

As every, your faithful scribe,
JKC

And the word for today is "runcy." It means a woman of coarse manners and doubtful character.

March 1, 2007

It is almost baseball time again, and thank goodness we are finished with February. Many of our Willoughby Rotarians have enjoyed an evening at a Captains game in Eastlake, and I am once again setting up an outing for our club. The only drawback in previous years was scheduling the game too early in the season (April or May) when it is too cold. This year it will be in July. How great is that!

I am going to do a survey Monday to determine whether the majority wants a Wednesday, Thursday or Friday game. If it is Wednesday, it will be July 11. If it is Thursday it will be July 19. If it is Friday it will be July 13.

We will have our designated picnic area in the left field pavilion. After dinner, we will have box seats in a bloc. The per-person price will be $19.95 and includes your game ticket and your meal, which consists of freshly grilled hamburgers and hot dogs, potato salad, cookies, chips, soft drinks and water.

We can go up to the $24.95 level, but the only additional food is grilled chicken and fruit salad, so I thought it would be best to contain the price at the $19.95 level, because many of our people will be coming in couples.

So be prepared to vote on a Wednesday, Thursday or Friday game and I will -- before long -- pass around a signup sheet. I must have an exact count two weeks prior to the game.

I hope we have a good turnout for the game. We have a lot of new members who will enjoy the food, the game and the fellowship, and a lot of members of longer standing (I didn't not say older) who have enjoyed the games in the past.

That's all for now.

The word for today is "fubbery," meaning deceit, deception or cheating.

Your faithful scribe,
JKC

February 13, 2007

You are probably wondering how Mary and I were able to win the Sweethearts Competition at the Valentine's luncheon held at Mario Fazio's. The competition was tough, because the competition was such a high level. Larry-Lorraine and Charlie-Roxy are extremely nice people and well-adjusted to each other, but Mary and I have a mental telepathy that worked to our advantage.

I don't recall all of the questions, but here are a couple of answers I chose because I knew they would resonate with Mary when she read the four choices. As to which Island we would choose, I said "Treasure" because Mary once lived on Treasure Island near Sarasota, Fla., and I was hoping that would occur to her when she answered. And it did. Another was to describe our relationship. The answer I chose was "Puuuurfect" because we have two adorable kittens, and I was quite certain she would think of that. And she did.

The thing is, you can't study for a test like this. You just have to tell your lovemate, "Look, darling, think along with me," or something like that.

A word or two about a recent program- the one Ray Somich did on the human brain. It was fascinating. I will ask my good friend, Dr. Bob White, the world's leading expert on the brain, if Ray is now ready to perform brain surgery.

What I noticed is that the planning/emotion/judgment area is in the very front of the brain, while the coordination of physical action area is slightly removed from it. What this means is that you could have a prefrontal lobotomy and not lose your golf swing.

But on a serious note, the Sweetheart meeting was a success and a credit to the people who arrange these things. Was it Debby? If so, kudos to her. We will now return to the House of Gavi provided there is not four feet of snow, resulting in a parking lot that will not accommodate cars. If that is the case, and there is room to park at Daniels Park, perhaps we can have our cookout on that date.

On another note, I was with another group the other day and the conversation got around to service clubs and why the Willoughby Rotary Club is the most highly respected service club in Lake County. I said it is because we don't do all of the silly and foolish things that a lot of other clubs do to make a buck. We just have one big fund-raiser year and don't spend the entire year trying to nickel and dime the membership. As a matter of fact, when our club started in 1961, we had members who transferred from other clubs that did silly things.

I am of the opinion that attendance at meetings could be better. I think -- correct me if I am wrong -- it averages under 60 percent of the members. Why anyone would not attend a meeting, unless a business obligation got in the way of it, is unfathomable to me, especially since the meal must be paid for anyway.

As, always, we accept letters to the editor from those who have divergent feelings.

The word for today is "snattock." It means a scrap, or fragment.

Peace, with honor, all of you tigers out there.

Lovingly,
Your faithful scribe,

JKC

January 31, 2007

Post Holiday greetings to all of my fellow Rotarians:

You have probably been wondering why you haven't received a newsletter since Dec. 21. The reason is that I haven't written one since then, and nobody else has bothered to write one. There are several club members who could write excellent newsletters if they wanted to, but no. They never step up to the plate to do that. I would nominate Morris Beverage, except that he already has plenty to do at Lakeland Community College. He does, however, write a masterful column every Monday called "Morris' Musing" and it goes out to everyone at the college who has a computer -- faculty, staff, etc. It is really a high quality piece of writing. One which he wrote a year or so ago following a West Virginia coal mine disaster was so good I took over to The News-Herald and told Glenn Gilbert (a former Rotarian, no longer with the paper) if he was smart he would put it in the paper. He turned out to be smart. He printed it. But Morris, like all people who are qualified to write a newsletter, does not have the time. So that leaves it to the likes of me. Be patient. Whenever I think of something to write, I will do it. I thought of something the other day, but it turned out to be a Sunday column I could use in the paper. So I put it there instead. Actually, there were two columns relating to Rotary -- one about Barry Byron and one about the "Distinguished" awards we handed out and featuring Dave and Tom Anderson. So you didn't get to read those in a Rotary newsletter, you had to read them in The News-Herald. And since the paper pays me to write a column and Rotary does not pay me to write a newsletter, guess what? I may save my best stuff for the paper.

Now, about some real newsletter stuff.

Our program at Pine Ridge to honor the Distinguished members of our community was outstanding. The turnout was gratifying. This is a tradition that must be continued. Fortunately, the Rotary Club stepped in at the time the program was being discontinued and offered to continue it on a regular basis. If you look over the list of citizens and civic organizations that have been honored since 1956, you get the distinct impression that these awards programs are an essential part of the fabric of our community and signify what it means to be a part of it, and to deny any of the recipients this honor would be unconscionable.

The list of citizens includes at least a dozen members of the Rotary Club, which gives a clear indication of the caliber of people we have in our club. Next year Rick Stenger will be added to the selection committee, along with myself, Bob Riggin, Jerry Merhar and Dale Fellows. Dale will be the next club president. After that, Dale will remain on the committee and each current president will also serve on it, along with the liaison person with Pine Ridge. This year that liaison was Jennifer Allen. I hope she is willing to continue in that position.

The past presidents dinner was a great success. Connie Mac did a fine job of hosting it at Corks Wine Bar, catered by Gavi's. We paid tribute to the outstanding job Debbie has done as president in the current year and we taught Dale the secret handshake and grip to help launch his year as president. The installation dinner is Friday, June 22, at the Bed and Breakfast on West Spaulding Street -- behind the Arabica Coffee House. Don't miss it!

Also, remember to bring your sweetie to the Valentine's Day luncheon on our regular meeting date, Feb. 12, except that it will be a Mario Fazio's Restaurant in Willoughby Hills. It's on the South side of Route 6 (Chardon Road) just west of Route 91.

Footnote: I just counted the Rotarians who have been honored as "distinguished." I came up with 14. And to think that this program almost got scrapped!

Ta ta for now.

Peace, with honor. And much love.

Your faithful scribe,
JKC

December 21, 2007

There is no Rotary meeting on Christmas Day, for some reason, and there probably will be no meeting on New Year's Day either. For some reason both of those holidays fall on Monday this year. We don't have to worry about Easter. That will be on a Sunday in 2007. However, Independence Day will be on July 4th, and that is too far in advance to worry about. Moreover, Tuesday, Dec. 26 is also a holiday. It is Boxing Day in Canada and also the beginning of Kwanzaa. I'm not sure when it ends, but you should all plan on taking several days off in observance of these holidays.

A personal note: My house on top of the hill is still for sale. Please send somebody over to look at it. To see it is to love it. I have played so much music there that you can still hear traces of "Take the 'A' Train" when you walk out on the back deck.

The Christmas Party was a huge success. The food was excellent, although it is rather intimidating to have a police officer standing next to the bar all evening. I wonder if he was counting drinks. Of course, some of us were picking them up for other people their tables.

There were only a few bruised feelings following the gift exchange. The heated floor mats were a big hit, as was the bottle of wine in a wooden casket. We must, however, have an amendment to the Steve Byron Rule. That specifies that when gifts are consumable, as in cashews, the first recipient cannot open the container and begin eating them until after the exchange is over. Well, the Ohio State T-shirt made the rounds until Helen Collins put it on in hopes that she could maintain possession of it. That didn't work. Somebody stripped her of it. But an amendment to the rule should be, no wearing of clothing until the day following the party. (Editor's Note: So far, nobody has brought a corkscrew and attempted to open a bottle of wine. But don't bet that it will never happen.)

The club is in good hands, and will continue to be with the new officers. It is my understanding that all members are welcome to attend board meetings. I would recommend that everyone give it a try, because the breakfasts that are served at Andrews are spectacular. Last time, in addition to everything else, they served cheese blintzes with three toppings -- apple, blueberry and strawberry. Fantastic! Of course, if all 94 of us show up at the same board meeting, they might have to send to the kitchen for more supplies. I asked Lee Turk, since he is the treasurer, who pays for all this. I think it is the Food Bank at Route 2 and East 152nd Street that sends out a truckload of food once a month.

I would report more of the club's goings-on, but I left my board agenda in my car, and it is a 10-minute walk from my office to my car. I admit that is good, since I never use the elevators at Lakeland, I always use the stairs. I do not trust elevators. I heard a horror story the other day about dozens of people who were stranded on an escalator when the electricity went off and they didn't know what to do. My favorite escalator story was about 1959 when we were at Halle's at Southland Shopping Center and my son, who could always be depended on to do something to rile up mobs and make them angry, fooled around with the escalator switch and shut it off. There were people on almost every step. The women were screaming and the men were shaking their fists. I told them they had two choices -- they could walk up, or they could walk down.

Continuing with our series of 10 favorites, here is the latest entry, from Eric Barbe:

1. Movie-- "Braveheart"
2. Oldest in the fridge -- A bottle of martini onions.
3A. Book on a desert island -- The complete works of Jack London.
3B. CD on a desert island -- (He said he has so many favorite songs he would burn his own CD with a dozen songs on it. Between you and me, folks, I have never heard of any of them. But here they are):

• Thunder Road by Bruce Springsteen
• Salisbury Hill by Peter Gabriel
• Where the Streets Have No Name by U2 (I thought that was a spy plane)
• Imagine by John Lenin (maybe he meant Lennon) Hotel California by The Eagles
• Don't Stop by Fleetwood Mac (I hope that isn't the song I think it is. Is the next line "thinking about tomorrow?" That one really turns me off.)
• Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me by Elton John My Best Friend by Queen
• Like a Rock by Bob Seger
• Suite: Judy Blue Eyes by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young
• More than a Feelin' by Boston
• Eine Kleine Nachtmusik by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

4. Worst TV show -- Jerry Springer
5. What I want to be when I grow up -- A deck hand on an ocean-going vessel engaged in maritime genetic/biological research and discovery.
6. Like best about Rotary -- The honor of being included in the activities of an organization whose members are the most highly respected and of the highest caliber in our community.
7. Favorite ice cream -- Ben & Jerry's "Chunky Monkey"
8. Favorite bedtime snack -- bowl of cereal with blueberries.
9. Best TV news program -- "Sunday Morning" with Charles Osgood.
10. Person to have a one-hour conversation with -- Charles Darwin about The Beagle, and if he's not available, Alexander Hamilton.

That's it for now.

I hope each and every one of you has a very Merry Christmas and a healthy, happy and prosperous New Year.

The word for today is "wangary." It means soft and flabby. Peace, with honor. And much love.

Your faithful scribe,
JKC

November 17, 2006:

I really need the help of the Shell Answer Man on this one, because I do not know the answer to this question. There is probably someone, somewhere, who knows the answer, and that person might be a member of the Willoughby Rotary Club. So here is what I would like to know:

Who was the successful bidder on the dinner offered by me and Conrad Straube and Chris Collins at the Rotary Ball? As you may be aware, for several years Conrad and I have offered this grand meal -- me preparing the Caesar Salad Deluxe and Conrad flipping the burgers. Last year Chris joined in by providing the wine with the meal, and the result was outstanding! At least, we thought it was. So the three of us offered the same silent auction dinner last month at the annual ball.

The problem -- and this has been an ongoing problem -- is that we have never been able to find out in a timely fashion who the successful bidders were. So when people call us and say, "We bought the dinner," we take their word for it. And we prepare the dinner.

This can be a problem. If multiple people start calling us and telling us they bought the dinner, we could end up preparing several dinners -- or picnics, as the case may be. At any rate, we don not want to prepare a meal for some people who claim to be the successful bidders only to learn later that it was a bogus claim and that someone else was actually the successful bidder.

This could be cleared up if there were only some way of finding out who the successful bidder was. So can anyone help us?

A further question: Is this lack of information a problem for anyone else who offers silent auction items? Or do they simply not care. We care, of course, for an obvious reason.

FAVORITES REPORT:

Today we will report on the all-time favorites on none other than our spiritual leader, Madame Presidente Debbie Clarke:

1. Movie -- "Imitation of Life."
2. Oldest in your fridge -- A bag of walnuts.
3. Book and CD for a desert island -- The Bible, followed by "Little Women," and Bob Segar's greatest hits.
4. Worst on TV -- I dislike reality TV.
5. Be when you grow up -- A writer.
6. Like best about Rotary -- The people.
7. Favorite ice cream -- Plain old vanilla.
8. Bedtime snack -- Ice cream.
9. Best TV news program -- I watch them all, they are all the same.
10. Person you'd like to have a one-hour conversation with -- Elizabeth Blackwell.

TODAY'S WORD:

The word for today is "raw-gabbit." It means "speaking confidently on a subject of which one is ignorant."

As always, Peace, with honor, and much love.

Your faithful scribe,

JKC

November 13, 2006:

Welcome to the 9th newsletter in the current series. I have abandoned the Roman numerals because there is no way of knowing where that could lead us -- possibly to the Super Bowl.

Barring a floor fight (we have never had one in my recollection at the Rotary Club), these will be our new officers for the next term that probably commences sometime after the next installation banquet.

• President -- Dale Fellows
• President Elect -- Michelle Hauser
• Vice President -- Dave Schell
• Secretary -- Mike Wildermuth
• Treasurer -- Judy Bash
• Board Members (dare we call them Trustees?)
• Greg Mitrovich
• Tim O'Keeffe
• Mark Tyler
• Ray Somich
• John Barbato
• And, of course, Past President -- Debbie Clarke

Congratulations to Debbie for a hard-fought victory in the contest for past president.

And yes, Lee Turk finally gets to retire as treasurer, a position he has held for 12 or so years. He deserves an opportunity to sit with the other members at lunch -- as soon as all of the funds are accounted for. I mean, wasn't it Bob Newhart who retired as treasurer of his company and was able to leave for retirement in Mexico only because of the money he and Miss Wilson had glommed from petty cash.

There was a lengthy and nonproductive discussion at the board on why the vice president does not necessarily succeed to president-elect in the next term. I don't understand why this isn't automatic. Perhaps it makes too much sense. Also, we are gradually approaching the awakening that anyone who serves on the board moves up through the ranks, step by step, one step at a time, until he/she becomes president and then serves a final year as past-president and is summarily dispatched into retirement. This works for The Ohio State University, the Masonic Lodge and the Knights of Columbus. Why can't it work for the Willoughby Rotary Club?

At any rate, we have an excellent slate of officers who deserve your respect and support in the coming term. Anything less than that would be very un-Rotarylike.

Today we feature the "10 favorite of all time" views of Jeff French, to wit:

1. Movie -- "Moonstruck"
2. Oldest in the fridge -- Probably a bottle of hot sauce that is so hot it will last a lifetime.
3. Book and CD to have on a desert island -- Complete stories of H.S. Wells and "Dreams" by the Allman Brothers band.
4. Worst program on TV -- A tie between American Idol and Survivor.
5. To be when you grow up -- An astronaut.
6. Like best about being a member of Rotary -- Meeting new friends, the Dictionary Project and the Four Way Speech contests.
7. Favorite ice cream -- Chocolate pecan.
8. Favorite bedtime snack -- Cheese, crackers, hot peppers and a beer.
9. Best TV news program -- George Stephanopoulous on "This Week."
10. Historical figure you'd like to have a one-hour conversation with -- Jimmy Carter.

There you have it.

The word for today is "rabbit's-kiss." It means "A penalty in the game of "forfeits" in which a man and a woman have each to nibble the same piece of straw until their lips meet.

Peace, with honor, and much love.

JKC

October 27, 2006:

This is the eighth in a series of Willoughby Rotary newsletters.

Craig de Fasselle, our resident historian (he gets a free lunch whenever a prospective member is interviewed), recently had some salient observations about the history of the Rotary Ball, its purpose and intentions. There are others who could be consulted on the subject, including Tim Wright, Gail Ruckel and Doug Wick. But I think Craig put his thoughts -- and the thinking of many others -- into a clear perspective.

I believe, however, that his thoughts were shared only with the board of trustees plus the hard-working staff members of the newsletter. So I asked him if it would be OK (note: the Associated Press style book says that "OK" is preferable to "okay") if I would present his views to the membership. And he said "OK."

So here are two recent e-mails from Craig on the subject. If you have some views you would like to express, you are encouraged to write a letter to the editor.

Since Craig is clear of mind and pure of heart, I am sure you will agree that he knows whereof he speaks vis-à-vis the dance: a noble tradition worth preserving.

Today's response to the 10-question survey is from Skip Murfey (I am publishing them in the order in which they were received.

1. Favorite movie -- "Casablanca"
2. Oldest in fridge -- Whatever's under that fuzz.
3. Book and CD on a desert island -- "Atlas Shrugged" and Jefferson Airplane Live at the Fillmore (for those who can remember, and if you can remember you weren't there.)
4. Worst TV program -- "My Mother the Car" (she must have been an Edsel).
5. Be when you grow up -- I don't ever want to grow up.
6. Best about Rotary -- Great friendships.
7. Favorite ice cream -- Rocky Road.
8. Favorite bedtime snack -- ice cream.
9. Best TV news program -- Special Report with Brit Hume.
10. Person you'd like to talk with -- Ben Franklin.

The word for today is "bloss." It means "a term of endearment; a buxom young woman."

That's it for now. See you next time.

Peace -- with honor -- and much love.
Your faithful scribe,
JKC

October 19, 2006:

Craig de Fasselle recently wrote a very accurate and informative history of the Rotary Ball, at the suggestion of Dale Fellows, but I fear it was sent out only to board members. Actually, it should go to the entire membership, because it puts in perspective the rift caused a few years ago by two members who maintained we were making "chump change" on the proceeds. They  maintained if it were held at LaMalfa we could raise $40,000. But the ball was started as a social event, evolving into one of the finest each year in Lake County, and the fund-raising aspect -- although now very important -- was secondary. And the two are now long gone as members.

Here's my personal opinion -- moving it from Kirtland Country Club would be a terrible mistake. Dances at other venues are a dime a dozen. Kirtland Club is a special place. You may have a different opinion. That is what freedom of speech/thought is all about.

I also believe it would be a mistake to move it from the second Saturday in October. It was held the first Saturday this year because of a conflict at the club, but that has happened only twice within my memory. No matter what date you hold a party, there are ALWAYS going to be conflicts. You have to make a choice of which events you want to attend. I really hated missing the big United Way party at Classic Park which was the same night as the Rotary Ball, especially since I am a co-chairman of this year's campaign, but my primary obligation is to the Rotary Club, so I made a choice and went to the Rotary Ball. I never regretted the choice.

And we are NEVER going to have 100 percent attendance of our members at the ball, because not everyone wants to go. That's the way it is and always will be. So don't worry about it. The size of the crowd this year was very comfortable -- about 140 people, I believe. It would be very nice if every member attended, but we don't need 200 people there in order to have a good time.

That is my opinion. If you disagree, write a letter to the editor.

And now, for another survey report. Here are Charlie Lawrence's views:

1. All-time movie - "The Natural," with Robert Redford.
2. Oldest in fridge - Asiago Cheese Spread, "I really need to get rid of it."
3. Book and CD on a desert island - "Life of Pi," by Yann Martel. "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," by the Beatles.
4. Worst TV show - Any reality TV, how about "Fear Factor."
5. Be when you grow up - An astronaut.
6. Like best about being a Rotarian - The great friends I have made.
7. Favorite ice cream - Pistachio.
8. Bedtime snack - Peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
9. Best TV news program - "The Daily Show."
10. Person I would like to meet - Abe Lincoln, of course.

That's it for now.

The word for today is "wee-wow." It means "wrong; in an unsettled state.

Your faithful scribe.
Peace -- with honor.
JKC

October 13, 2006:

ATTENTION -- ATTENTION -- ATTENTION

I wrote that to get your attention. Did it work? I hope so, because I had a reason.

Last week I had a malfunction with my computer at the college. For all I know I may have caused it myself, much in the manner that Janet Jackson caused the malfulction with her wearing apparel at the Superbowl halftime show. At any rate, I lost about three to five e-mail messages, and I do not know who sent them.

I MAY have lost -- I'm not sure but I MAY HAVE lost -- some of the responses by Rotarians to my 10-question survey of personal preferences. So if you sent me a response, and you name IS NOT Foley, Anderson, Lawrence or Murfey, please re-send it.

The next respondent on our list is Mayor Dave Anderson. Here's where he stands:

1. Favorite movie -- "Robin Hood" with Errol Flynn. 2. Oldest in refrigerator -- Arm and Hammer Baking Soda (supposedly to keep the fridge smelling fresh.)
3. Book and CD on a desert island -- "Centennial" by James Michener and The Beach Boys' Greatest Hits.
4. Worst TV program -- Any reality show.
5. What you want to be when you grow up -- I don't know. Is there a Mayor Emeritus?
6. Like best about Rotary -- Interaction with club members. 7. Favorite ice cream -- chocolate chip. 8. Favorite bedtime snack -- chocolate chip ice cream. 9. Best TV news program -- FOX Report with Shepard Smith. 10. Person to have a one-hour conversation with -- Ronald Reagan.

Thanks, Dave. In the next newsletter we will be hearing from Charlie Lawrence.

Meanwhile, the last board of directors meeting was another exciting sagat at 8 a.m. on Oct. 12 with most of the discussion centered on Michele's plans for the 2007 gala -- our annual Rotary Ball. She has a lot of surprises up her sleeve, but it is up to her, not me, to spring them on you. Whatever she does, she always does well, so we can look forward to another fun-packed evening.

I reported to the board the final decisions of the committe to select a Distinguished Citizen and Distinguished Civic Organization. As you know, honoring these worthy citizens and organizations is a function the Rotary Club adopted last year after the Chamber of Commerce decided to go in a different direction.The selection committee is composed of me, Bob Riggin, Debbie Clarke and Dale Fellows. Jerry Merhar is also a committee member in good standing, but because of his continuing back ailments, was not able to attend any of the meetings. We wish him a speedy recovery. He was in Downtown Willoughby on a Saturday, propped up by a cane, and said that following his surgery he will be an inch or two taller because of what the surgeon does to his spine.

Our honorees will be honored at a noon luncheon Monday, Jan. 15 at Pine Ridge Country Club. This will be a regular Rotary meeting to which the public will be invited. And the winners are:

1. Distinguished Citizen -- Jerry Cirino. 2. Distinguished Civic Organization -- Burroughs Nature Club. 3. Special Award of Distinction -- Tom Anderson. (This is an award handed out just occasionally (previously only twice, to Ken Stafford Jr. and astronaut Greg Harbaugh.)

The occasion of the loss of George Brueggeman should not pass without our remembrance of him not only as a warm and caring human being as well as a joy and a pleasure to be around, but also for his dedication as a Rotarian. George was a past president of the Willoughby Rotary Club, a role that he filled with distinction, and a loyal member of the club whose contributions to the betterment of the club were noteworthy.

George enjoyed the club very much, including its ssocial events. He could be counted on for every golf outing back in the days when there were always 16 players (four foursomes) at each outing, often with a poker game afterwards at Mel Andrews' barn. George will be sorely missed by his fellow Rotarians. I have often remarked, without fear of contribution, that Willoughby Rotary is the best service organization in Lake County, and George was one of the best of the best.

THE GOOD WORD: The word for today is "quanked." It means overpowered by fatiigue.

Much love, and peace -- with honor.
Your fathful scribe,
JKC

October 10, 2006:

The top of the morning to y'all, regardless of the time of day.
This newsletter will consist of reporting on the first Rotarian to respond to my survey -- it was Deborah Foley. The next letter after that will be a report from Dave Anderson, the second Rotarian to respond.
Here are Deborah's responses:

1. Favorite movie -- Cabaret.
2. Oldest in refrigerator -- mustard
3. Book on a desert island -- The Bible (she listed no CD).
4. Worst TV program -- Survivor.
5. What you want to be when you grow up. -- She wants to be WISE.
6. Like best about Rotary -- Friendships.
7. Favorite ice cream -- Chocolate Chip.
8. Favorite bedtime snack -- Pretzels.
9. Best TV news show -- Shark.
10. Person you would like to talk with for one hour. -- Pope John Paul.

Next time we will hear from Mayor Dave Anderson.

In the meantime, I hope all of you had a great time at the Rotary Ball, one of the great traditions in Lake County. The committee did a tremendous job of planning and setting-up, and we owe them a large "Attaboy" (that includes girls) for the outstanding effort.

I have a great idea -- let's have another one next year. What? You mean somebody already thought of that? Well, OK. Let's all plan on being there.

Here is the word for today. It is "antipodes." It means people who live on the other side of the earth to us, going with their feet directly against ours.

Peace -- with honor.

JKC

October 6, 2006:

Good day to my fellow Rotarians.

Today we will take a new approach to the newsletter. I am going to ask you to fill out a questionnaire. Please return your answers to me INDIVUDLALLY AND PERSONALLY at my e-mail address at Lakeland Community College. It is:

jcollins@lakelandcc.edu

Do not send the information out to the club en masse because I am going to use your responses as the subjects of several future newsletters. If 80 of you respond, I will include the informtion in 80 subsequent newsletters. This is intended only as a fun thing, nothing else. OK, here we go.

1. What is your all-time favorite movie?
2. What is the oldest thing in your refrigerator?
3. What book and CD would you like to have with you if you were stranded on a desert island (with electricity, of course.)?
4. What is the worst program on TV?
5. What do you want to be when you grow up?
6. What do you like best about being a member of the Willoughby Rotary Club?
7. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
8. What is your favorite bedtime snack?
9. What is the best TV news program?
10. What person, living or a historical figure, would you like to have a one-hour conversation with?

That's it. Just having a little fun. If you respond (and I hope you will) I will share our "interview" with our fellow Rotarians in future newsletters.

The word for today is "abecedarian." It means one who is learning the alphabet, one who teaches the alphabet or one who is a beginner in some field.

There is also a thought for today. Kabir, a  mystic poet in the 15th century in India, wrote in one of his couplets, in Hindi:

"Guru Govind dou khade, kaake laagoon paye

Balihari guru aapki, Govind diyo milaye."

Translated:

I face both God and my guru. Who should I bow to first?

I first bow to my guru because he's the one who showed me the path to God."

The word guru is from Sanskrit via Hindi, where its literal meaning is venerable or weighty. Ultimately the word is derived from the same Indo-European root that gave us the word gravity.

That's all for now.

Peace -- with honor.

Your faithful scribe,

JKC

September 28, 2006:

I don't want to be considered a troublemaker, but I have an idea. It may not be a very good idea, but it is an idea, and as such should be treated kindly.

I was having lunch the other day at LaMalfa (I think it was the Mentor Chamber of Commerce) and there is a guy who works there who wears a tuxedo and is always hustling all over the place. If you have ever been there, you would know. I call him Elvis because he did an Elvis impersonation at a United Way luncheon a couple of years ago and he was very good. He is always flattered when I call him that.

He said to me the other day, "Guess what? The Mentor Rotary Club had a clambake at Mentor Harbor Yachting Club a few nights and asked me to do my Elvis impersonation, and I entertained them for an hour."

And I thought -- what a great idea? And I further thought -- would it be possible for Willoughby Rotary to have a clambake. I mean, we CHARTERED the Mentor Club and gave them a few of our best members to get started. Why can't we steal an idea from them.

Understand, I am not volunteering to chair such an event. But if we had one, I would certainly go.

Just a thought.

ON THE BOOK BEAT -- John Nelson deserves our full support on his dictionary project. This is one of the most worthwhile projects the club is involved in. Well over FOUR MILLION children have received dictionaries thanks to the generosity of sponsors who have participated in the program.

I don't know about, but for me a dictionary is an absolutely essential necessity to keep at my right elbow. It is of invaluable assistance when searching for the precise word. (Many times I have used the wrong word, looked it up, and discovered it was not conveying the meaning I intended.)

The goal of the program is to assist all students in completing the school year as good writers, active readers and creative thinkers.

So when John asks for your help, pitch in. You will be glad you did.

TODAY'S WORD: The word for today (thanks to Barry Byron) is "adoxography." It means the art of pursuing worthless things.

Happiness, and peace -- with honor.

Jim Collins

September 26, 2006:

Writing a newsletter can be habit forming. It's only been a week or so, and here is another one.

I must remember to use spell check, however, because there was a misspelled word last time, and for that I appalaguise. OK, so it isn't funny.

It is my opinion, shared by many others in the county, that the Willoughby Rotary Club's annual ball is the premier social event of the year in Lake County. If not the very best, and I think it is, then it shares equal status with the Candlelight Ball, The Glitz, The Society Ball, On Holden Pond, the Neighboring Ball and all of the other classy events that take place throughout the year. I hope all of our club's members are aware of this. And I hope all of the newer members place it on their priority list when making plans for top-notch events to attend.

Is it certainly on my MUST NOT MISS list. I hope you feel the same way. I have taken many guests throughout the years, and they not only agree that it is the finest event of the year (most of them tell me "It's my favorite") but they also have been big bidders on our silent auction items.

So talk it up, get your tables together and plan on having a great time.

The event is not only a great time, but it is a tribute to the committees -- and chairs -- who have spent so much energy planning it. This year Dale Fellows is following in the noble tradition of previous chairs in working hard to make it a success. So take note of all these facts, and govern yourselves accordingly!

And by the way -- hats off to the ladies. We couldn't do it without ya. (Rotary wives are some of our most loyal troops.)

I shouldn't tell you this, because two of my bosses at Lakeland Community College, Morris Beverage and Wynette Barnard, are members of the club and are on the e-mailing list for this newsletter (I think that is how it is delivered). But I could not do this without using my computer at the college, and without the assistance of Denise Timms, who knows how to package it and send it to Craig and Debbie. But listen, Morris and Wynette, it takes her only about five minutes, so please be understanding.

I think our programs have been uniformly good throughout the year, which is a tribute to the chairmen who arrange them. I'm not sure who does this, but I think it has been Michelle Hauser and Judy Bash lately, so a tip of the hat to them. Here's a modest suggestion -- we might think of getting a high-powered speaker from the Cleveland area to come out and address us every once in a while. I went to a Mentor Rotary meeting once and the speaker was Dr. Floyd Loop, who was chairman of the Cleveland Clinic. He gave a powerful address. And I can recall times when we had Gabe Paul when he was president of the Cleveland Indians, Herb Score, Harrison Dillard and other notables. It never hurts to ask.

I think the guy responsible for bringing notables to the Mentor Rotary was Roger Sustar, who was constantly bugging Glenn Gilbert to get certain speakers before Glenn transferred to our club (and then moved to Michigan). They were always after Sam Miller of Forest City Enterprisers, but could never bring it off. We could give it a try. Or perhaps some higher ups from the Browns, Cavaliers or Indians. Sometimes you get lucky and they say "yes."

But it's only a suggestion.

The word for today is "magsman."

It means "A street swindler who watches for countrymen and gullible persons and persuades them out of their possessions."

Peace -- with honor.

Jim Collins

September 19, 2006:

This is the first of what I hope will be several newsletters to members of the Willoughby Rotary Club. First, let me introduce myself. My name is Jim Collins. I say that for a reason. I receive newsletters from several organizations in which the author is not identified but the personal pronoun "I" is frequently used. This makes me crazy. I want to know who is addressing me. Now you know who is sending this one. Any complaints, please address them to Debbie Clarke, Madame President, who inveigled me into this job against my will and by force. I did the newsletter about 40 years ago and had no intention of ever resuming the function. Someday I will learn to say "no" -- and mean it.

Now, on to the important business.

I went to my first Rotary board meeting in many decades on Sept. 14 and learned that we have $16,485.82 in the bank. We never had that much money in the bank when I was president. Come to think of it, I don't remember ever having board meetings when I was president. We just came to lunch on Mondays and whatever happened happened. Now, of course, we are much more businesslike. And we have a Rotary Ball, which requires a great deal of planning (and which has become one of the finest social events each year in Lake County.) So yes, board meetings are important.

Enough of that!

The board is considering a proposal by Tim O'Keeffe for a community service program that sounds interesting. It would involve mentoring, career guidance, shaping of career decisions and possible shadowing of students in the Willoughby/Eastlake and Kirtland School Districts as well as Lakeland Community College and Andrews School for Girls. The concept is still in its infancy, and members will be happy to know it will require no time or money commitments on their part. You will be hearing more about this in the future.

It appears that the Rotary Ball will attract between 180 and 200 enthusiasts. We really know how to have a good time! Too bad the United Way scheduled an event at the same time at Classic Park in Eastlake. I would ordinarly attend the UW event, but my priorities are clear. It's the Rotary Ball for me. Deborah Foley, what were you thinking?

Congratulations to two Willoughby Rotarians, Morris Beverage and Dale Fellows, who were in the first class to be inducted into the Lakeland Community College Hall of Fame. All seven inductees are distinguished persons and worthy of the honor. But it is good to know that two of the seven are Willoughby Rotarians. Yes, we do exert our leadership on the community we serve and live in.

Speaking of distinction, the committee that will select our area's Distinguished Citizen and Distinguished Civic Organization has had one meeting. Much was accomplished and we should be able to finish our selections with one more meeting. Our nominees come from three sources: 1, those we have received from the public, 2, those who are suggested by the five committee members, and 3, those who previously received strong consideration for the honors. The committee consists of me, Bob Riggin, Jerry Merhar, Debbie Clarke and Dale Fellows. Jerry, if you didn't already know, has been hospitalized with an extremely painful back condition. We must all wish him a speedy recovery, as we need his wit and wisdom at our Monday luncheons as well as his presence at the committee meetings.

The plan is to hold this year's recognition luncheon (it will be a regular Rotary luncheon with as many guests welcome as care to attend) on January 15 at Pine Ridge Country Club. Gavi's cannot accommodate the kind of turnout we expect. Last year, when Rotary conducted the program for the first time, we honored Mort and Flo O'Ryan of Willoughby Hills as Distinguished Citizens and the Salvation Army as Distinguished Civic Organization. We should aim for at least 200 at our next such program.

Don't forget the Rotary Christmas Party Dec. 13 at Mooreland. It is a spectacular setting for such a party and our gift exchange, with all its flaws (only kidding) has become a tradition to which we are all endeared. Please, I hope nobody brings any wind chimes this year.

The club will soon be choosing new board members. There will be nominations from the board and open nominations from the floor, as it were. I hope anyone who accepts this position will understand that it is an honor to serve the Willoughby Rotary Club as an officer, and that anyone who accepts the position realizes that it carries with it an obligation to continue through the chairs and eventually become president. I recall a situation many years ago when three or four board members said they didn't want to be president, which presented the position of having a new president who had virtually no experience serving on the board. Ordinarily, this would not be good, except that the president was Art Holloway, and he was able to handle it. But it shouldn't happen this way.

Enough for now. In fact, far too much.

Happiness, and peace (with honor.)

JKC

(PS If anyone would like to take this job, applications are being accepted.)